Day 31

31 days. That's a month in any ones book. If I'd have bet anyone 1 month ago that I would have been stopped smoking for more than 2 weeks within 31 days there aren't many people who woudn't have taken my bet. That would include those closest to me and if I'm honest I'd have been ahead of them in the cue at the bookmakers. But here I am not smoking.

To be honest I'm finding typing on this new rubber keyboard that i bought, after pouring a pint over my old one, more irritating than the non smoking. This weekend has been kinder than previous weekends in terms of the urge to smoke. Of course I'd love to say that I had no urge to smoke but I think that those who follow regularly would spot the lie.

Come to think of it how is everyone else doing? Jamie, have you got an appointment yet? Kerry, are you still off the cigs? Jo, have you decided on a plan B for quitting and Jo's friend, are you still having the odd sneaky one? It's always good to hear how everyone else is doing.

Anyway, it's late on Sunday night so i think some sleep is in order. Speak to you all during the week.

stay hooked

Day 30

Hi folks. Not got much to tell you today. I've had a lovely quiet day with almost nothing whatsoever to do and I've loved it.

From a smoking point of view, there's been a couple of cravings but nothing too intrusive so I've tried to carry on as if not smoking is normal. I'm still clearing my throat a lot which is bugging me. Also this morning and throughout the day I've noticed that three new spots are growing on my face. What's that about? Is this some hidden side effect of Champix? Is this part of nicotine withdrawal? It's fair to say that I haven't been prone to spots since I was a teenager but when I do get them they tend to be huge. I'm going to try to ignore them and just hope they'll go away.

Someone also asked me yesterday if drinking made any difference. It was one of those weird part time smokers who only smoked in the pub. Now I'm going to be careful what I say here. On the pamphlet that comes with the tablets it simply says that Champix has not been tested with drink. That in itself is a bit of a surprise as I believe that there is a proven correlation between drinking and smoking although I may have made that up. You'll have to do your own research on that one I'm afraid. The fact is that my drinking habits have not changed at all in the last thirty days from what they were before and I've noticed absolutely no difference from taking Champix. As I pointed out to my wife when she mentioned the cost of my alcohol consumption, one thing at a time. Lets deal with the cigs and then I'll deal with the drink. A person can be too healthy you know. So from my experience Champix and drink go almost as well as cigarettes and drink. What's more you don't have to leave the pub with Champix.

Off to bed now but I'll update you on the excitement that is not smoking tomorrow.

Cheers

Day 29

Not quite sure what's going on today. I'm spending a lot of time clearing my throat. Suppose, now that I think about it, that I haven't really been coughing for the last few days so maybe the last of what needs cleared from my lungs is taking longer to work it's way out. It's not very pleasant though. I'd far rather cough up the lumpy stuff than feel that it's sitting at the back of my throat.

As I've previously stated in this blog, giving up smoking has never really sat very high on my to do list. I can however remember some of the changes that I went through as a result of each of my previous attempts back in the day. What I'm remembering though is that the 'throat clearing stage' was maybe about day three of giving up. I'm wondering if Champix somehow makes you give up in some sort of 'slow motion'. I said a few days ago that it's two weeks since I've smoked but that I didn't feel any different whereas, on NRT, I seem to remember feeling different within a few days albeit also feeling like I would smoke at any minute and being right.

Now I may not be feeling rejuvenated or fighting to get on the waiting list for a gym however I will admit that, for the first time in at least 20 years, there is absolutely no audible sound to my chest. There has always been a sound, a bit like someone breathing through a comb, attached to my breathing. It used to be worst first thing in the morning and last thing at night. In the morning it was easily dealt with by smoking and coughing but at night it was a bit more difficult when trying to get to sleep. God when I was unfortunate enough to get a cold the noise of my chest could drown out a small factory. Just in the last couple of days that seems to be clearing.

I'm not happy about not being a smoker. Yesterday when I was standing out with 'my people' after lunch and they were smoking I realised how much I liked that part of the whole thing. I was standing there in a T-shirt with sleet falling. They were putting their cigs out to go inside and I was wanting to stay out even though I wasn't smoking. What's been annoying me up until now is that it's been all pain with no gain. If my breathing gets better and, who knows, maybe I soon regain some taste buds then I might start to get a bit more pro this whole thing.

Funnily enough it seems to have got a bit easier after my little stumble the other night when I smoked. Not saying I haven't been tempted since but it's easier to ignore when you know that it's not going to give you what your after. I'm not recommending that you smoke after the quit date with Champix but, maybe, some of us need to prove to ourselves that something is happening.

The weekend is almost here so watch this space to see how it goes. Stay hooked

Day 28

This is turning into quite a wind up week really. Was duty driver today and had to take some folk to a meeting. Found the venue no problem (could have done it even without good old sat nav and all her Obsessive Compulsive Disorders) but could I find a parking space? Got to the venue on time then wasted 15 mins going round a one way system three times. I found a spot, got parked, then realised it was a two hour short stay. Eventually got it sorted but god did I want a smoke.

Calmed down for the rest of the day although I actually am going to attack the next person that blames my non smoking for me challenging them. One of the reasons I am good at what I do is because I challenge everything. It has nothing to do with not smoking and is no more or less extreme as a result.

I'm glad to see that, Jo has told friends about this site and, that I'm not the only quitter that has actually still wanted to smoke after the quit date. Jo's friend doesn't say how far ahead of me they are but definitely sounds like the most similar Champix experience to my own.

So, here comes the weekend again. In the last 14 days I've had one cigarette. I haven't killed anyone yet and am way too bloody minded to off myself. If I do stop smoking I'll blame it on Champix and if I don't stop smoking I'll blame it on Champix. Would I recommend it? I'd be scared to. Like Jo, like Kerry, like Jamie and I'm assuming like Jo's friend anyone that wants to try Champix has to do a bit of research and see if they are prepared for what it does. Would I recommend Champix? I'd recommend you visit this site first.

Day 27:-

It should really have been last night when I went for a pint but the timing was wrong. Or even this morning when my sat nav wouldn't work despite me programing it the night before. But it didn't happen. Both were occasions when I could have smoked and no jury would have convicted me, but I was strong. Pity then that tonight, with no excuses, I decided to have a cig.

The wife wasn't feeling great so went to bed early and I had the house to myself. It's no secret that I've been craving a smoke. What's more this was not the noble experiment I suggested a few days back where I would have a cig in order to report scientifically on what happened. Nope. This was cheating. This was smoking. This was the moment my brains been waiting for for almost two weeks. This was borne out of pure, unadulterated, addiction.

So how was it? Well let this be a warning to anyone thinking of trying Champix. It didn't work. What do I mean? It just didn't work. It didn't make me feel sick. It didn't put my head in a spin despite the fact that this was the first cig in 12 days. My lungs didn't relax like they used to. Nothing. Afterwards I still felt exactly the same. I wanted a cigarette. It was as if I hadn't had one. It was really disappointing. If your going to be naughty you at least want the delight that it brings. Imagine you've been on a diet for a month and are suddenly presented with a chocolate cake. You dive in only discover that it doesn't taste of chocolate and it doesn't fill you up. How annoying would that be? I'm actually a wee bit upset now but also a bit relieved. It would appear that Champix has me over a barrel. I can smoke if I want but I wont enjoy it and I'll still be left wanting a smoke. Looks like I'm going to be successful at this lark in spite of myself unless I give up the Champix.

My mentor (the guy that told me about Champix) is finally on his last three days of the medication. He's saved enough money to buy himself an electric guitar and a PS3 and he's started running. Me, I just feel like it's a bit of a slog but I'm sticking with it.

I was also told by two people in work that I' behaving differently with the non smoking. Not exactly angry but a bit quick to rise to a challenge. Although I just accepted this I was actually a bit annoyed by it. I have been a bit angry at work recently and it has nothing to do with not smoking. It started before the not smoking. It's not really any ones fault but the way things are working out I'm bored because I've only got bits and pieces to do. If there was ever a time when it would be better for me to be busy it's now. Instead I'm trying to think things up to fill my time.

So am I going to reset the 'days stopped timer'? Nope I'm just going to carry on as if tonight didn't happen. Once in two weeks doesn't destroy a quit attempt and I now know that even if I can have a cig there will be no point so I'm much more likely to succeed. Consider yourself warned smokers. Champix will make you quit. Resistance is futile.

More tomorrow

Day 26

There should be exceptions allowed with any give up smoking treatment. These exceptions should include: Extreme boredom, Extreme stupidity (both your own and other peoples), Extreme provocation and extreme irritation. If you smoke under any of these circumstances it should not count and should do your health absolutely no harm. I'm certain that's what they were after when they invented smoking back in the day. I'm sure that they actually suggested that smoking should be mandatory under such circumstances.

Today I should have smoked many. One for the guy that pulled a last second emergency right turn with no signal, one for the fact that I had almost nothing to do all day, one for the fact that I'm still recovering files after a weekend and especially one for the fact that I decided 'Screw it I'm going for a beer and I'll have a smoke whilst I'm at it' only for my wife to come home as I was walking out and decide to join me. Never has a cigarette come so close to being torched and yet escaped so easily.

Yep folks it's day whatever and folk are even beginning to become impressed with the 'almost two weeks line'. It's like they were waiting for me to crack during the first week but now think I might be going to make it. Me? I'm still waiting for me to crack.

In my mind I've not given up. It's as if I was due to go for a smoke at 10am but someones asked me to hold off till half past. I can do it. I'm not strung out about it but I'm focused on the clock waiting for half past. That's the best way to describe my Champix effect. I'm ready to smoke now but can wait for half an hour if needs be. But I'm ready to smoke now.

Fortunately the next two days are relatively busy so things should calm down a bit. Right now....I'd kill for a smoke

Day 25

Well it's coming up for two weeks now and I'm still not smoking.

It's a kind of weird situation really because in every way I feel exactly the same as the smoker that started this blog three weeks ago only now I'm not smoking whilst I type. In my mind I had it one of two ways. I'd get to this stage, have given up, and be feeling great and glowing or, I'd get to this stage and be confined to a padded cell with a straight jacket and a drip pouring concentrated nicotine directly in to my veins. It's a bit of an anti climax really to be nearly two weeks in and only moderately annoyed that I'm not smoking. Worse still if someone said we'll stop the experiment tomorrow I'd have a ciggy lit faster than they could blink. It's almost as if my brains allowing the non smoking based on the fact that it's some sort of temporary fix. Lets hope that I get over it because it's a bit pointless to just wait ten weeks till I can smoke. That was never the point of this exercise.

So here I am on my fourth week of Champix rabbiting on about the lack of real explosive effect whilst Jo took the first of the initiation pills and ended up spaced out, half asleep and nauseous. We've got the whole spectrum in one blog. How did Champix ever find a consistent sample group in order to get released? I've got minimal effect, Kerry quits within days and Jo's so wasted that even driving becomes a concern. Jo, don't start mucking about with the doses without running it past a doc first. Some people do report results with half doses whilst others need to try another method and accept Champix isn't for them. I'm not a big fan of NRT but I did watch a program where they had pretty good success using a combination of 24 hour patches and an inhalator. The thing with Champix is that it not only takes a while to take hold of your system but it can also take days to clear your system. If Champix isn't for you and you persist with it you could feel ill for days past actually taking the pills.

I've got to make an appointment with my doc this week too. Think she just wants to see if I turn up, knuckles scraping the pavement dragging a blood soaked axe behind me or if breeze in sniffing the flowers and complementing her on her choice of perfume. Either way she's going to be disappointed.

I'm afraid there isn't much happening tonight so I'll sign off but I've got a few situations arising this week that can't be handled with my trusty shield of smoke so stick with it and we'll see where we end up by Friday.

Cheers

Day 24:

Hey folks. First up I'm pleased to say that I still haven't killed my desktop PC. On a less upbeat note I still haven't recovered all the stuff I'm after from the old drive yet either although I did get some stuff today and will hopefully get some more tomorrow night. I am however writing the blog once again on the laptop. Why? Because earlier on when I sat down in front of the desktop I spilled a can of beer almost directly into the keyboard. One half of the keys don't seem to want to respond at all whilst the others type between three and five characters at a time and not necessarily the ones that I wanted. Tempted to smoke?.....I sorely was.

Next I wanted to say hello to Jo who is on day one of the adventure that is Champix. Jo left a comment on the Day 2 blog and another on yesterdays. Thanks again because I love comments, especially just now when I don't have a wild amount to report except the number of days that I haven't smoked and how I miss smoking.

I do however have to question whether Jo's sudden tiredness three hours after pill number 1 is related to champix or whether it could be something to do with the fact that, three hours before the first comment, would have been 5am in the morning here in the UK. Of course this is the World Wide Web so Jo could really be anywhere. I am also ignoring the fact that Jo may work shifts and keep separate hours from the rest of us. I enjoy the detective work though. Keeps my mind off smoking.

Anyway Jo the good news is that you are not much more than two weeks away from a serious chance of stopping smoking. Like you I had read all the horror stories about Champix online however the one thing that I did notice that everyone had in common was that they stopped smoking. OK some of them stopped breathing, some are in jail whilst others are looking for good divorce lawyers but all of them successfully stopped smoking whilst on Champix. Hopefully your nowhere near as hopeless an addict as me and find that your experience is more like Kerry Bee's (which does seem to be the more common reaction).

As for me, I'm still not smoking which is nothing short of miraculous. I'm not feeling sudden bursts of Ecstasy nor am I considering signing up with a gym but I'm not smoking. I'm also not suffering any side effects good or bad.

If you'd like to join me tomorrow I'll give you more insights into my smoke free world. This may go something along the lines of '11 days and still no cigs' but there's always the chance that something could happen and a whole different story could unfold.

If you don't come back tomorrow you'll never know

Day 23

Hey folks. Funny thing today. I may not have mentioned it but I've always rolled my own cigarettes. For years this meant that one of the major reasons why people quit smoking, money, didn't apply to me. Why? Because, if customs and excise are to be believed, I propped up organised crime and kept the grey economy intact by buying packets of tobacco with health warnings in Dutch or polish etc. No wonder our politicians had to fiddle a few expenses what with me avoiding paying cigarette duty for most of the thirty years I smoked.

Like all good things the cheap tobacco came to an end just over a year ago. My Dealer lost his supplier and before I knew it I was forced to go legit. The only way for me to get cheap cigs was to look for dodgy folk at market stalls. Thing is I was never there at the right time. Today, 9 days after quitting, where do I find myself but at a market that would have furnished me with my smoking needs. I even had money to hand. It felt really strange to not be looking for someone to buy cigs from.

Another thing that you wont know from this blog, because it happened before I started the blog, is that I killed my home PC just before Christmas as a direct result of trying to repair a faulty external hard drive. It took about 4 days and many a full ashtray to get back up and running with a working PC. The external hard drive however has never been recovered but needs to be as it has about six years worth of photos on it. So tonight I am typing this on my laptop whilst my main PC is running a recovery program on the external drive. This is a long slow process that will hopefully run over night. I'm only telling you because there are a couple of things that could happen that may send me over the edge.

First the recovery software could find a bad cluster within seconds of me leaving the room meaning that when I get up tomorrow morning I'll have lost out on 7-10 hours disk recovery all for the sake of pressing one button saying 'yes'.

Second the temporary file created to let me see what can and cannot be recovered from the damaged drive may actually be big enough to completely fill the working drive of my PC putting me right back to the position I was in before Christmas where I have to format my C drive and start again.

If the first sentence of my blog tomorrow indicates that I've smoked 70 cigs and smashed the house up. Don't blame the Champix. I can always claim extreme provocation.

Wish me luck. Until tomorrow....

Day 22.

So it's now more than a week since I last smoked. To get to this stage the Champix must have pulled off some sort of herculean effort because I'm still married, most of my friends still talk to me and some people haven't even realised that I'm not smoking. Either well done Champix or I was always so strung out that no-one has even noticed the difference.

There's always got to be something though. I've always believed in being fashionably late. I don't know if there is a dictionary definition for fashionably late but I take it to mean within fifteen minutes of when your due. I see it as amateurish to be on time and downright unprofessional to be early. As a trainer and smoker (who is fashionably late) there is nothing worse than turning up to find a room full of amateurs looking expectantly as if you may actually start now that you have turned up just because it's time. For god sakes people. Don't you drink coffee? If you don't smoke couldn't you at least try striking up a conversation with someone else on the course? To be honest I don't care what you do but do it somewhere else and stop interfering with what little prep time I've left myself. Why am I telling you this? Because late people rush. Because I need to be somewhere quick and because whether you realise it or not you're holding me back.

Yep I'm suffering from road rage. I'm late and you're dawdling about at 25 miles an hour when the limit is 30. Your stopping at an amber and I'm desperately trying to make sure I don't ram you across the lights as I do an emergency stop. Please also be aware that you only have to slow for speed cameras if you're actually speeding.

The one result of giving up smoking seems to be a complete impatience with other road users which is unlike my usual temperament. I'm driving up thinking, I know these lights and if the car in front doesn't at least do 33mph we're all going to miss them. A red light used to be an opportunity to roll a cigarette and a second red was an opportunity to smoke it. Suddenly I'm not looking for red lights. Suddenly journeys should be fast where previously I was quite calm about them being slow.

What do I do if non smoking me is an entirely less pleasant version of smoking me? I'm not talking withdrawal here. What if I've always been an impatient git but hid it because I smoked. What if the real me is just plain unpleasant?

Very few people mention the potential pitfalls of giving up but this may be a very real one.

On the Champix side I have to say that the cravings are getting less but aren't completely gone. I've decided that at some point between week two and week three I will smoke one single roll up. Why? I have to know if it lives up to what my brain's craving. Trust me it's not an excuse to start again. That's why I don't want to do it at the end of the treatment but want to try whilst I'm still on the pills.

Watch this space. At some point over the next ten days a cigarette will be smoked in public. Extreme quittin or what????

Day 21

Well that's it folks. Since it's past midnight as I write this I've officially not had one draw from a cigarette in 7 days. Scary

No logic to it so don't get excited but today was relatively easy. Also the wife and I went to the pub for a couple of beers and that didn't spark any mad urge to smoke. I think I need to give it a few days before getting excited about this as today could just have been a good day.

The downside of having a good day is that it doesn't leave an awful lot to write about. The only thing that has been consistently difficult throughout the week is that I've been trying to install a downloaded sat nav torrent into my mobile phone. As always with torrents the instructions have been appalling and I've had to use a combination of google and intuition to get it up and running. It would probably be less hassle just to buy the software in the first place. Any one who uses a computer and smokes will know what I mean when I say that this one was a full ashtray project. I should have been stubbing cigarettes out on top of a mountain of cigarette ends. Instead the ashtray is stored away neatly in a cupboard for visiting smokers to dirty at some point.

Sorry it's a short post today but it's late and I don't have much to report. I'll update tomorrow when I'm sure that the prospect of the weekend will inspire me to wax lyrical on the joys of being smoke free.

Stay hooked.....

Day 20.

Well folks. It's rapidly approaching a full smoke free week. Just one more day to go.

Today I was quite a grumpy straight talking sort of a person. I'm sure everyone thought it was because I've stopped smoking but actually it was to do with that stuff from yesterday. That compiled with the fact that I stayed up to late last night and was running late this morning because I had to scrape ice of the car. It's nice that people make your excuses for you and you don't have to explain that sometimes you really are just a moody sod. It's even nicer when the people concerned have known you long enough that they actually should know better. Was I a dazzling little ray of sunshine in the morning when I smoked? Don't think so. If anything I might just be a wee bit more tolerable in the morning now that I've quit. Make that a very very wee bit.

Now comes the broken record bit. I miss smoking. I was in a training course today (being trained as opposed to delivering training). Now training courses in my book are measured in cigarette breaks. There's the cigarette you have five minutes before the start. The second cigarette that you chain smoke that makes you five minutes late. Then you dumb down with cheap clix coffee until the two cigarette break that is tea break. (If your reading this in America a tea break is a ten minute break that we Brits have once in the morning and once in the late afternoon). Lunch involves one cigarette followed by food or soup (depending on your budget and hangover) then two cigarettes and then back to work. Then it's afternoon Tea break followed by home and the opportunity to chain smoke. Somewhere in between those cigs some boring sod like me fills the air with boring words about IT systems and asks you to try stuff. Ahhhh, reminds me why I beacame a trainer.

When you don't smoke you discover that lunch is quite a long time if all you have to do is eat. Also non smokers are boring. They actually think it's OK to eat lunch at their desks whilst reading newspapers or magazines and avoiding any conversation with their colleagues. We smokers like a good chat over a cig. Of course all smokers are driven to one designated area so you get the chance to meet and chat to people from all areas of the business at all levels. The non smokers however only have their immediate colleagues to ignore in their warm offices. I may have made the transition to not smoking but I'm not going to cope with being a non smoker. Even without the excuse of nicotine I think I may have to stick with the smokers outside in our nicotine stained shelter.

Tomorrow night I get to say that it's a whole week since I last smoked. Be honest...You didn't think we'd have got this far at this time last week. I'm not getting complacent yet though. This mission is far from over.

Same time tomorrow?......

Day 19

Well folks in approximately one hours time I'll be five days in to my quit attempt.

If you back track through these blogs you'll begin to realise that five days smoke free is probably more of a surprise to me than it is to anyone else. Also even my wife has mentioned that it doesn't seem to have my brain fried like my last attempt way back when when I tried the 24 hour patches.

It has to be said that not all of my success can be be attributed to Champix. Whether I need to smoke is irrelevant, I still want to smoke. Whether I'm suffering true cravings or not I am definitely fantasizing over the gentle sting of smoke against the back of my throat and the general feeling of well being that comes from having a cigarette. Why am I telling you this? Because today, five days in, I'm missing smoking big time. Why? At work something happened that really pissed me off. Not going to go in to details but because my new project hasn't got started yet I'm getting tasks assigned because I'm available rather than because I should be doing them. I can't even argue because I really am available but shouldn't be. If this makes no sense don't worry. The point is that I had to agree to do something that makes me really angry and, worse, had to bite my lip and kid on I wasn't angry. I have a coping mechanism for these situations that took years to develop:

Walk away
Smoke
Rant
Smoke
Think of ways out of it
Smoke
If you can't then make it not work
Smoke
If that doesn't work turn the situation to your advantage

My golden bullet was stolen from under me. The above has prevented me from murder in the past and today I had no escape. A huge rage came over me whilst my sensible head said 'calm down, have a smoke, think about it and you'll figure it out'. Champix doesn't supply coping mechanisms. I checked the packaging and it's not mentioned anywhere. It sounds daft to say but I'm known as quite a rational and even tempered person. The reason is that I have learnt to:

Walk Away
Smoke
Rant etc, etc.

Don't worry. No murders ensued and, more importantly, I didn't smoke. Problem is that the above worked because of the smoke. Why are you walking away? To smoke. Why are you smoking? To breathe deeply and calm down. Who do you rant to? People not involved in my dilemma (smokers) who see things rationally whilst I'm incapable of it. People who suggest ways to sabotage the dilemma or make it work to my advantage. Smoking is networking at it's evil best. I may have given up smoking but I still need smokers round about me. I feel I'm missing out.

So why am I persisting with this attempt if it's not the Champix restraining me. Well, silly as it may seem, I don't want to blow away five days worth of achievement on one cigarette. I'm a stubborn git and won't give in that easy even though I want to. If I was to give in at this point one cig wouldn't do. I'd need at least 60 to make up for the past five days. So now I'm stuck. That rational part of me has served me very well over the years and I can't lose it but I need new coping mechanisms and fast.

Oh by the way... I wasn't kidding about the competition. I genuinely need an excuse for why I've given up now, after 30 years, that lets smokers know that I'm still one of the clan whilst warning the anti smoking lobby to stay well clear of me and never dare to count me a victory. You can comment anonymously and I'll not quote you on the blog.

More tomorrow

Day 18

Hey folks. Big day for the blog today. 2 Comments in one day. That's a first.

Good to know your still following the blog Jamie. Whether your thinking seriously about quitting or not I'd get an appointment with the doc. The worst that can happen is that you have to tough it out with a bit of willpower like me (remember what I said on day 1, 'Truth is I like smoking') Best case scenario is it works for you like it does for Kerry and in less than two weeks the smell of smoke makes you feel sick. The absolute worst that can happen is that Champix does nothing and your still smoking in two weeks time. What do you lose? If you've tried several times in the past then your already one up on me because my last attempt was way back in about 2002/03. Got to make the doc think your serious though or you'll not get the pills.

The more people that can put their quitting experiences here the more help it will be to others who are thinking about quitting. I only started this blog because when I tried to find out what it would be like all I could find was either horror stories or stories that seemed to good to be true. What I wanted was to create something day to day that would have let me know what I was facing.

So it's more than half a week without the cigs now. (Sounds more successful than four days). I didn't do one of those carbon monoxide tests when I started the Champix. Unlike Kerry however I'd be surprised if mine was clear yet, although I really haven't smoked so it could be. Like Kerry I've developed a cough. It's not as persistent as my good old smokers cough but it's more successful at bringing up the gunge that I suspect has been hiding at the bottom of my lungs for some time. (Sorry if that's too descriptive). I'd love to say that my sense of smell and taste have returned but it's maybe a bit too early for that type of success. On the positive front today was a bit easier.

If your thinking about trying this lark at home then here's some things you might want to think about. First you can only get Champix if you've tried everything else so you may have to lie to your doc. Second, don't tell anyone because nobody understands that it's actually OK to smoke for the first two weeks so you get those 'knowing looks' whenever you go for a cig. Third, because Champix has more side effects than a bin bag full of class A drugs everybody will constantly ask how you're feeling. You can tell them to f**k off though because they'll just assume that the drug's turning you psycho. Then there's the, how are you finding it now you've stopped? The final one is the one I really wasn't prepared for though. Why did you decide to give up now?

I've spent thirty odd years defending smoking and being almost proud of the fact that I wasn't one of those smokers who always wished they could quit. Instead of saying 'god I have to give this up' I was saying thank god I've still got the cigs. I therefor am not about to tell the do gooders and anti smokers that actually I've had a cough that could power the sail of an ocean going yacht across the Atlantic and have had since before Christmas.

So here for the first time I set any readers of this blog and passers by a challenge. Given that this isn't about preaching to smokers to try and convert them but to inform them of a potential quit method should they want to try it...What's a good reason for giving up smoking that wouldn't make the smokers around you wish you'd shut up and give them peace and at the same time not allow the anti smoking lobby to feel smug? Looking forward to some good answers.

Stay hooked....

Day 17

First things first. If you haven't already done so you should look at Kerry's comments on day 16. What Kerry proves is that Champix is different for everyone. To be honest what Kerry writes seems more like what most people tell me happens. Your brain just stops having the urge to smoke and then all you have to do is stop lighting cigarettes whenever you get the opportunity.

For me it's not been just quite so straight forward. Smoking hasn't made me feel sick and Champix hasn't quite succeeded in killing that urge in my brain. That doesn't mean that it isn't working however. Believe it or not that's me through my third smoke free day. It may be a bit painful but it is working. Who knows, maybe a week from now, I'll be get to the same stage as Kerry. In the meantime I now have the cleanest car in the UK because washing it gave me something to think about other than smoking.

Also, when I say that Champix hasn't killed the urge in me it has reduced it by more than half so I'm not spending all day wishing I could smoke which is what I would be doing without the Champix. In fact, who am I kidding, without the Champix I'd have smoked at least twenty today and still have thought I was doing well. I guess there's just a price to pay for being such a committed smoker.

Back to my normal place of work tomorrow. That means I'll spend all day getting asked how I feel about not smoking. Funny thing coming from a guy that keeps a blog about smoking but I'd rather not have to talk about it all day. It just makes me think about it and then I want to go for one. Not to worry. Every day from now on should get just a little bit easier.

So...By lunchtime tomorrow I'll have gone half a week without a cigarette. That's maybe only the third or fourth time since before I was a teenager that I'll have managed that. It would be a real shame to blow it now. Stay with me now to see if I make it or if all my good work goes up on smoke. More tomorrow.

Day 16

Well it's now just 19 minutes till the clock shows my time stopped at 48 hours. That's a minor miracle for Champix but I have to say it still isn't being as easy as everyone makes out.

Most of the time I'm fine and if I do get an urge to smoke I can ignore it till it passes but, every so often, my brain mounts the kind of assault that would usually only affect smokers going cold turkey. It's disappointing in a way because it was doing so well at helping me cut down that I was beginning to think quitting might be a breeze. Maybe for the hopeless cases like myself they should up the initiation pack to three weeks.

Anyhow enough moaning. Two weeks ago I would have struggled to go two hours without a cig and now it's been two days. It's bound to get easier as the days pass. I'm also going to have to find myself something to do. When I'm occupied it nags less. It's also fair to say that I'm not the moody basket case that I was six or seven years ago when I had a go with patches. (at least I don't think I am)

Back at the start of this I said that if I get any side effect from the Champix it will probably be the dreams. Well it is having some effect but nothing major yet. I know that I'm having dreams (this is unusual for me) but they are nowhere near the cinematic experiences that other users have had nor am I able to accurately recall them the next day. All in all it would appear that Champix is doing a pretty sterling job but, if your thinking of taking the plunge, expect it to take at least a wee bit of willpower from yourself. I should probably have tried harder to cut down earlier but, no matter, we are still on target for the quit of the century.

You'd be surprised how many people, even the avid anti-smokers, seem genuinely concerned about the fact that I'm giving this a try. It would appear that some people are just meant to be smokers and that most people see me a s being that person. The next ten weeks might prove them wrong. Watch this space....

Day 15

Hey folks. It's 23.50 and I have been awake since 07.20. I haven't smoked a single cigarette since midnight last night.

I hope that you are all astonishingly pleased with me but, to be honest, I'm a bit underwhelmed at the moment myself. Why? Because it was a bit tougher than I thought and, to be honest, I could murder one just now. The idea of the magic Champix was that it gave up whilst I remained blissfully unaware. That would be excellent and I'm sure some of you have a vested interest in me telling you that it will happen. It wont.

Sorry but today has been a bit of a trial despite all my previous good work. Probably, in my head, I thought I've cut down enough to make this easy, but really my head just decided that it was being denied it's rightful fix. Things got particularly tough around 11 o'clock despite the fact that I haven't smoked at that time for three days. I used coffee to sideline my brain but it didn't really work. Again when I got home at 5pm my brain kicked in and said 'go on just the one'. And at the moment it's not much better.

So, I reckon I've passed day one. Day 2,3 etc will be better I hope but for anyone hoping that Champix is the magic cure, I don't think it is

Can this really be true? Is this really a story about quitting?

Stay hooked.....

Day 14

Well here it is folks. The moments of truth are stacking up. At 6pm tonight I took the last pill out of the 'Initiation pack' of Champix. Whatever I smoke tonight should be the last I smoke between now and the end of treatment in ten weeks time. Yep ten whole weeks. The idea being that by that time my brain will have got used to my not smoking and will stop demanding that I drop everything and have a cigarette.

Well that's the theory at least. You'll have to watch this space to see what happens in practice. It could all go wrong and I could smoke forty cigs tomorrow but somehow I don't think that will happen. If it doesn't then by the time I go back to my normal workplace on Monday (I've been off site this week) I could be telling my colleagues that I've been stopped for three days.

It will also be interesting to see what, if any, nicotine withdrawal I get. I've always had a theory that a lot of the side effects attributed to Champix may actually have nothing to do with Champix and may actually be the result of severe nicotine withdrawal. After all Champix works on the receptors in the brain that crave nicotine and stops dopamine being produced when you take nicotine, effectively convincing your brain that you don't need it, hence eliminating the need for a smoke. Nicotine is however a strong drug and one that my body has had a plentiful supply of since I was eleven years old. I may not crave it any more but it's entirely possible that my body and mind may react to the lack of it. It would seem that the quacks think this is not the case but I'll reserve judgement. I may not crave food but my body wont work without it. (For anyone thinking: 'I like that theory', remember what I said on day one. I'm not in any way medically qualified or even, some may say, intelligent enough to own a lighter let alone develop medical theories.)

OK so this is it. I'm off now for a smoke before bed. I'll not update till bed time tomorrow so that I can truthfully say whether it's been my first smoke free day or not. Wish me luck folks

Day 13

So could unlucky day 13 really beat day 12? Well yes and no.

From getting up at 7.15 to returning home around 5.15 I smoked the princely sum of precisely one cigarette. Between getting home and going to bed however I have had five or six. Why? Because today is really the second last day that I can so I decided, as a wee treat, I would enjoy it. Especially as I had the excuse of watching TV in my office because the footy was on.

Tomorrow the challenge is to get through the working day with absolutely no cigarettes and then I'll maybe allow my self a few at night again as Friday is NO SMOKING DAY. It's not so much Friday that scares me. I'm actually pretty confident about that one. It's Saturday, Sunday, Monday etc. If I succeed I'm at true risk of being a non smoker.

To be honest I don't think I'll ever really consider myself a non smoker. If people ask I think I'll steal a term from the Alcoholics and call myself a 'recovering smoker'. I honestly don't think I'll ever be much more than one drag away from a 40 a day habit. It will just get easier through time I suppose. I certainly won't become one of those smug Nazi anti smoking ex smokers that talks about the disgusting smell and bursts in to fits of coughing even before a cigarette is lit. (If you ask me they need to get their lungs looked at if they can't even be in the proximity of cigarette smoke in the open air. Exhaust fumes might just kill them, hopefully.)

Today I took the step of picking up the second part of my prescription. Not that the doc had no faith in me but she told me not to collect it until I thought that I would really go through with it. So that's me got four more weeks worth of Champix sitting in the cupboard. If it doesn't work out I can always sell it on ebay.

Anyway, That will do for now. I'll post again tomorrow but the adrenaline junkies will just have to wait till Friday night to see if it really can become Extreme Quittin

Day 12

For goodness sake I wish I could get that 'Time Stopped' clock right. I had the date set as Thursday because that's day 14 but it should actually start from Friday because that's the first day that I shouldn't smoke at all (you're allowed to smoke for the first 14 days). For reasons that you'll understand in a moment the extra day probably isn't that important but I like these things to be right.

OK so why might the quit date not matter so much? Well as I write this at 23.22 I have smoked only five cigarettes all day. That's right the 40 a day dedicated smoker has only had five cigarettes all day. I got up at 7.15am and did not have a cig until 12.15 when I went on lunch. I had another at 1pm at the end of lunch and then went straight through till I got home at 5pm before having another (although then I had 2). The last one I had was while the wife was out with the dog at 7pm and I haven't had one since although I'm going to have one now taking the daily total to six.

Now you have to admit that that's pretty good. It may not be the complete quit that we are aiming for but it's a pretty drastic reduction. Just last week I was saying that if I could get to ten a day I would succeed and here I am at 6. Also today I was working with the same smoker as yesterday and I actually went outside when he did but didn't smoke. That's either very weird or quite cool. What do you think?

I'm worried about tomorrow though because so far it's been one really good day followed by a bad day. Tomorrow I should look to smoke less than today but we'll wait and see how that goes.

It's beginning to look like non smoking could take place at any time now folks. Don't give up on it yet.

Day 11

Well judging by the counter at the bottom my little blog has still not gone exactly stratospheric. Maybe I could become a dot com millionaire by trying to sell the Domain name to Champix but I don't know if ten hits and two comments in two weeks would be enough to whet their appetite. I did discover that if you type tquittin in to a google search I'm now the first three finds. Thing is no one will ever type tquittin in to a google search on purpose so maybe it will be like beatlejuice and I'll have to wait for some happy accident to get the site noticed.

Meanwhile for those that need to know how the quitting's going. Fabulous news: Yesterday I only smoked 11 cigarettes all day. The longest break was between 8.45pm and 12.45. The not so good news is I'm only two off 11 so far today and it's not even 6pm. I'm blaming it on the fact that I had a smoker in my team today that kept asking if I wanted to go for a smoke. If he's there again tomorrow then I'm going to either say no or join him outside but not smoke. Thursday is fast approaching and I don't want it to go the way Sunday went.

I have to inform smokers like myself that Champix doesn't really quit smoking for you despite what all the converts may tell you. It makes it easier to cut down and I will be able to quit but anyone that says it doesn't require a bit of will power to help it along is kidding themselves. Perhaps some of us are more susceptible than others. That said the ones that find it easier and quicker are probably the same ones that suffer all the side effects. Who knows?

Hard to believe that I've been on the Champix now for nearly two weeks. If your thinking about quitting and want to ask a question or share in my fantastic success (continuing to smoke in spite of the Champix) then leave a comment and I'll get back to you.

Stay hooked

Day 10

Funny how things can change as the day goes on. Between 10 oclock and 2 oclock yesterday I had already had 9 cigarettes. Between then and 2am when I finally dragged myself up to bed I had only had another 9. Ridiculously enough I went from 5.30pm to 10.30 pm without a single cig or any real pain. Have to admit that I dozed off between 6.30 and 7.30 so don't know if you can count that hour but still pretty good going.

Today I got up at 10 but didn't smoke a cig till 12. Unfortunately after that I had another at 1pm but I really do feel like I'm getting somewhere. Between now and Thursday I need to concentrate on cutting down more and more drastically. If I could get to less than ten a day before Thursday then we're in with a really good shout.

The good news is that there are still remarkably few side effects. I think the main task for me is to work on the morning smoking and also the last thing at night. Champix doesn't seem to actually kill the trigger that says 'have a smoke' however it does seem to make it easier to say no.

I'm keeping a note of the times that I smoke each cigarette so that I can establish where my main focus needs to be. Fortunately it looks like work is going to pick up again this week so that will take my mind off it for a bit.

Keep watching. I might not be a text book case for Champix but I may still be a success story.

Day 9

Moody git this morning. Don't worry it's not the Champix or even the giving up (because I obviously haven't) it's just that if I don't get the first 45 minutes of the day to myself then I can be like a bear with a sore head for the rest of the day.

Anyway I was doing fine with my doubling the spaces of smokes up untill 1.45 pm. I gave in because I was still tetchy so I had five fags in a row. After that I calmed down and settled down and have been keeping a good distance between the cigs since.

I have however changed the clock counter to show the quit date as 11/02. (For anyone that follows this on zimbio click the link at the top of the page to take you to Blogspot so you can see the counters). Why? Well we're on to the double dose now and today made it quite obvious that I'm just not ready to quit yet. Maybe after a couple of days at double dose and keeping the distance betweeen cigs I'll be better equiped. No point making it any more difficult than it needs to be. The whole point is not how quickly but how completely I give up.

No repetition of yesterdays wind this morning so maybe that was just a one off. I'm now going to count the cigs each day and keep increasing the distance between smokes so that I can actually hit this quit date. Don't loose faith in me. This will be a quit site soon

Stay hooked

Day 8

Well the dreaded quit day is getting closer and to be honest I feel I'm getting further away from turning it into reality.

Another very quiet day at the office only, today I smoked as if my quit method was to run the world dry of cigarettes. No particular reason just that when I thought, 'is it lunch time yet I'm dyeing for a cigarette', it was actually only 10.15 and that was pretty much the pattern of the rest of the day.

Today however also saw the doubling of the dose (sounds like some pompous British ceremony) and, with this evenings pill, a slight sickly feeling that was only relieved by farting and burping for about 15 minutes (not constantly you understand). Maybe all that dopamine that the nicotine used to release is now going to be expelled into the ozone via bodily eruptions. Maybe the depressive attacks associated with Champix are just the result of quitters loosing all their friends who are to polite to mention that they just cant stand the wind anymore. The psychotic episodes could just be the sheer frustration of constantly letting rip at the most inappropriate moments. If any of these theories are true they will be proved on this very page. If I ever give up that is.

So what is required now is a plan that facilitates at least a remote chance of stopping on Sunday. Here goes: Tomorrow, Saturday, I'm going to try to double the interval between every second cigarette. The way I plan it to work is like this: time between cigarette 1 and cigarette two equals 15 mins. Half an hour later I can have cigarette 3 and half an hour later number 4. Its an hour later till number five and a further hour till 6. Two hours till 7 and two hours till 8 etc. This may seem extremely complicated and, at first, not very testing however, it means by 11.15 tomorrow night I will only have had ten cigs all day if I wake around ten o'clock. It will also take you all day to figure out how I came up with this plan.

Can I just also point out to anyone considering Champix and reading this blog thinking....God this is too complicated. Most people just cut down a wee bit and quit. There's nothing on the box that says it has to be this complicated.

Only one more post and then it's quit day. Don't give up on this blog yet.

Day 7

First things first. Thanks to Jamie T for leaving a comment on day six. You may be wondering why I didn't acknowledge the comment on day three but that's because it was by my mum and I texted to thank her for that one. But hey this ones from a genuine stranger. I feel like I've hit the big time. Now, having found the site, if you could just do as all the best emails say and send a link to everyone in your inbox (even the spammers)I'm certain that good luck will come to you and all your contacts who do the same. It's a big Euro millions jackpot tomorrow. Don't miss out.

Today I found myself in the dubious position of having nothing to do but having to be at work to do it. Believe it or not I'm not a major skiver, in fact I've been pretty non stop for the last year and a bit, but two major projects have just come to an end and the next one hasn't kicked off yet. Now you might think having some down time is a bit of a result but it doesn't really help with the non smoking. When I'm bored I tend to smoke more. So I'm going to count today as a mini triumph. Why? Well not only did I not smoke more but, smoke for smoke, I think I actually smoked less.

Before anyone gets too excited we are only talking about maybe five less than any other day but that's still good in my book. I also emailed my stop smoking Champix guru. A guy I've been working with who has successfully quit (almost against his own will) using Champix. I explained that I didn't feel any less of a smoker and asked when he finally felt it was making a difference. He said that he continued smoking till day 14 (the end of the first prescription) but that he just stopped completely on day 15 and hasn't smoked now for nearly six weeks. I'm glad Champix makes him feel queezy twice a day. No one likes a smug git. Any how it makes it more important than ever that I stop on day ten (this Sunday) so that I can feel morally superior.

As of tomorrow morning we take it to the next level. The dose doubles up to two 1mg tablets per day. Stopping smoking doesn't get any more extreme than this. Stay hooked.....

Day 6

From the "whats Champix going to do to me" point of view today was a non event. Beginning to wonder if I may be the first person ever to be completely immune.

Didn't have to get up early as I was travelling home. When I did get up though I didn't smoke straight away. One Nil to Champix. Problem is when I got in the car with nothing to do I smoked exactly as much if not more than normal. This is worrying because it's day six and I've not really cut down. My stop day is day ten. If I don't stop on day ten then I'll need to reprogram the counter on the web page and that's not an option.

On the plus side the day after tomorrow see the dose of Champix double again so there is hope.

Today also saw a major milestone. Today I purchased what may well be the last 50g pack of tobacco that I ever buy. My hope is that there's a wee bit left by Sunday to leave me a comfort zone should the Champix not do it's job but, technically, this could be my last smoking expense.

If you are thinking of taking Champix and find this blog. Do not despair about my lack of success. The packaging allows till day 14 to quit so maybe some of us are more resistant than others. There's also a part of me that thinks that I'm smoking more out of habit than through the usual nagging urge.

Habits can break. Addiction is what I need help with.

Day 5

Not a lot I can say today

Had a deep sleep with absolutely no idea of dreaming. Went to bed about 12.15 and the alarm went off at 6.45. Snoozed the alarm until the hotel ordered alarm went off at seven. Now, like many smokers, all I need of a morning is about 5 cigs and a good coffee. Because I was in the hotel (and it was busy outside so I couldn't get away with smoking out the window) I didn't have a morning fag till about eight. Surprisingly this didn't worry me too much.

I'm beginning to think that the champix is actually working on the addiction but not affecting the habit. It's almost as if I go for a smoke because I can as opposed to smoking because my brain is screaming for the nicotine. i.e. It's teabreak so I can smoke as opposed to, I must smoke. I've got the drive home tomorrow (5 hours) and might see how far I can get without stopping just to see how it feels.

It's a bit disappointing but I may not be the best reviewer for Champix as it seriously isn't making it's impact felt on me. If I wasn't experimenting with going without then I could be left completely unaware of the effect that Champix is having. But, watch this space, I haven't tried going without yet and don't feel that I could. In all the stuff I've read online I should expect to have given up before my quit date on Sunday.

Stay hooked folks. There's still work to do here

Day 4

Fantastic news!!!! According to the counter at the bottom of this page seven people who aren't me have managed to stumble upon my little diary. Dead pleased but would love to know how you found it cause I can't get it on a search no matter what I do. I don't think I can count it as a viral yet but seven hits is seven hits. Who knows, soon I could be bigger than Susan Boyle.

Anyhow, first to cover my wee experiment yesterday. I went between 9.30 and 11.30 without a smoke and without any real trial so I think Champix is launching an assault on my brain cells without me even knowing it.

Today I had a five hour car journey and only stopped once for a ciggy. To you that may be normal but for me that's pretty cool. Tonight I'm in a hotel room which is non smoking and, helpfully, about A mile from the front door. I thought about smoking in the loo with the fan on but there was something suspiciously like a smoke detector in there so I didn't. I've been in the room for three hours now and have only had one cigarette out the window.

I don't feel like a non smoker and I do still get the urge to chain smoke but it's just a bit easier to ignore. Today was the start of the two pills per day regime so we'll see what happens.

As far as the side effects go...I'm still waiting. I have to say I was pretty tired at the start of my drive today, and it's quite a boring drive, but that may have more to do with sitting up till 1.30 last night then getting up at 7.15 in the morning after three days off.

I'll let you know what tomorrow brings

Cheers all