Day 45

How is it possible to actually become the thing you're giving up?

Today I realised that my giving up smoking actually changes the whole world. It's almost like, if your not going to do it then why would anyone else? I should be chuffed. It would appear that the whole world only smoked because I did. Smoking was only OK if I smoked. It's almost as if I've let people down by giving up.

Of course that's not true but, think about it, is there someone that you measure yourself against? As sure as Monday is the start of the week this person will smoke. No matter what policy they put in place it wont stop this person and they wouldn't want it to. It would appear that, as far as smoking goes at least, I'm the one constant that makes everything safe. Or at least that's the way the world used to work.

I don't smoke. I wont smoke. That means that I wont be the one to make it OK or to make decisions about when the party can be halted to accommodate the smokers. Now you're on your own. Somehow I feel bad about that. I feel like I might be letting you down. Except who was stopping me? Who said it was OK if I smoked?

I'm no longer the champion of smoking so someone will have to step up to the plate. Could it be that I've gone from a non committal quitter to a committed non smoker. Who knows? Stay hooked....