Day 35

Well folks. In about15 minutes it will be three full weeks since my quit date and five full weeks since I started on the Champix.

It seems odd to say but it has been a strange, almost accidental, chain of events that has got me here. With almost two weeks off at Christmas I was drinking and smoking almost all day every day. Late at night my resting breath sounded like Darth Vader after a marathon and in the morning it was taking over an hour and several cigs before I could really get a breath between coughs. I can't remember precisely the date but I made my mind up that, much as I loved smoking, it finally had to stop. This was not some preplanned new years resolution. I don't do those.

Fast forward to 05/01/10 and work takes me to a new location to help out with the implementation of a new system that we've spent the last six months training. I'm working with the manager of a team and excuse myself to go for a smoke. At this point giving up is something that I will do at some point but not right now. When I come back the manager explains that he gave up in mid November and got right through Christmas without smoking. What's more it wasn't that difficult.

If he'd been evangelical about it I'd have politely ignored him. If he'd made comments about how much or how often I'd smoked I'd have told him to piss off. Instead he explained that he hadn't particularly planned to stop. He had a sister who smoked a ridiculous amount (60+ per day) who was ill and needed to stop. She took Champix and was now stopped for two years. Last year her partner (also a heavy smoker) managed the same. So this guy thought, why not give it a try. He hadn't even planned to quit. Like me he lied to his doc about nothing else working and got Champix. Within two weeks he was quit.

One of the things that worried me about quitting was the withdrawal symptoms. I work in front of folk all day every day and really can't afford to be spaced out or highly strung. This guy did not seem like someone who was going through withdrawal. I asked about side effects and he said that the pills made him feel sick but otherwise nothing. He brought in the leaflet from the pack for me to read and I took it home and showed my wife. I asked other smokers and they all seemed to have known someone who took Champix. Some were success stories whilst others told of yellowing eyes (Liver problems) and extreme dreams that affected people for the rest of the day. The Internet told an even more extreme story of murders, suicide and the FDA considering withdrawing the drug from the American Market (these guys don't even allow sucrose).

So why did i go to my doctor and ask for Champix? There comes a point where you have to trust what you see. The guy in work seemed fine on the pills. You have to trust yourself and your friends. My wife was well aware of the side effects and we agreed that, any sign of depression or anger, I would stop taking pills and start smoking again with no recriminations.

My doc was awful kean for me to join a group or at least take those breath tests at the Chemist. Not my style. Lots of quit sites recommend you tell everybody or get sponsored. If anyone had even dared to mention sponsorship I would have refused to stop there and then. I did let my boss know but only to cover myself if anything went wrong.

So here we are, about nine weeks or so into the year and I'm five weeks in to the pills and three wees off the cigarettes. Easy? Nope. Enjoyable? Nope. Rewarding? Nope. Anything at all to recommend it? I can't swear to it but I don't think I've coughed this whole week. I can breathe out forcefully and all you hear is air, no hisses or crackles or bronchial stuff. Any downside? I may not crave cigs as much as I used to but I do genuinely miss them.

So now you know. Tomorrow.....