Day 39

Welcome to a new week upon the nicotine free planet that has become me. Not too sure what happened this weekend but I really did get awful close to smoking. I'm glad I didn't. Anyhow today has been fine so I feel a bit better.

Not smoking is becoming a strange feeling now. If you've been keeping up with these posts you'll know how I've felt about smoking at various stages throughout this quit attempt. Yesterday and today however have been a bit strange. The only way I can really describe it is that I have cravings (sometimes quite strong ones) but to be honest I don't really fancy a cigarette. I'm not sure whether my body is getting over the smoking but my mind hasn't caught up or vice versa but one way or another I'm in the very peculiar position of craving something that I don't want and can't satisfy. For me that in itself is a bit of a triumph. Look back through the blog and find one single occasion where I've been any less than 100% certain about what I wanted.

Yep folks as we reach Champix week 6 I'm thinking that we may be starting to turn a corner. The beginning may not be quite out of site yet but if I just continue on this route I'll soon loose sight of where this all started and hopefully be able to concentrate on where it ends. For anyone new to this site thinking about taking the plunge with Champix: Remember that 5 weeks ago I was smoking heavily. Four weeks ago I stopped but I wasn't exactly loving it to say the least. Even one week ago it was in no way certain how this was going to work out. Now I'm at a point where I can't see the start or the end. I'm not lost. I could get back to the start far quicker than I left it. But it just doesn't seem such a nice place anymore.

In a way I'm glad that Champix isn't making this a complete walk in the park. The term that I used back at the start of this was that 'I only sort of want to give up' and yet, even if I started back tomorrow, I've had almost two weeks of completely clear lungs. Supposing it was only a respite it's got to have done my health loads of good.

I think that, if you're only sort of thinking about giving up, and you read this blog, you might soon have actually given up. If you actually want to give up, and you read this blog, you'll almost certainly give up. I hate people who say, 'if I can do it anyone can', but read the blog from the start. I am a smoker that has not even had a whiff of a cigarette in 12 days and haven't properly smoked for nearly four weeks.

The shows not over by a long shot but I think the extreme quitting part might be. I've downgraded now to just plain old quitting. Give it another week or so and we'll need a new status because there has to be a limit on how long you can even call it quitting before you get to say quit.

Scary stuff. More tomorrow.