Day 27:-

It should really have been last night when I went for a pint but the timing was wrong. Or even this morning when my sat nav wouldn't work despite me programing it the night before. But it didn't happen. Both were occasions when I could have smoked and no jury would have convicted me, but I was strong. Pity then that tonight, with no excuses, I decided to have a cig.

The wife wasn't feeling great so went to bed early and I had the house to myself. It's no secret that I've been craving a smoke. What's more this was not the noble experiment I suggested a few days back where I would have a cig in order to report scientifically on what happened. Nope. This was cheating. This was smoking. This was the moment my brains been waiting for for almost two weeks. This was borne out of pure, unadulterated, addiction.

So how was it? Well let this be a warning to anyone thinking of trying Champix. It didn't work. What do I mean? It just didn't work. It didn't make me feel sick. It didn't put my head in a spin despite the fact that this was the first cig in 12 days. My lungs didn't relax like they used to. Nothing. Afterwards I still felt exactly the same. I wanted a cigarette. It was as if I hadn't had one. It was really disappointing. If your going to be naughty you at least want the delight that it brings. Imagine you've been on a diet for a month and are suddenly presented with a chocolate cake. You dive in only discover that it doesn't taste of chocolate and it doesn't fill you up. How annoying would that be? I'm actually a wee bit upset now but also a bit relieved. It would appear that Champix has me over a barrel. I can smoke if I want but I wont enjoy it and I'll still be left wanting a smoke. Looks like I'm going to be successful at this lark in spite of myself unless I give up the Champix.

My mentor (the guy that told me about Champix) is finally on his last three days of the medication. He's saved enough money to buy himself an electric guitar and a PS3 and he's started running. Me, I just feel like it's a bit of a slog but I'm sticking with it.

I was also told by two people in work that I' behaving differently with the non smoking. Not exactly angry but a bit quick to rise to a challenge. Although I just accepted this I was actually a bit annoyed by it. I have been a bit angry at work recently and it has nothing to do with not smoking. It started before the not smoking. It's not really any ones fault but the way things are working out I'm bored because I've only got bits and pieces to do. If there was ever a time when it would be better for me to be busy it's now. Instead I'm trying to think things up to fill my time.

So am I going to reset the 'days stopped timer'? Nope I'm just going to carry on as if tonight didn't happen. Once in two weeks doesn't destroy a quit attempt and I now know that even if I can have a cig there will be no point so I'm much more likely to succeed. Consider yourself warned smokers. Champix will make you quit. Resistance is futile.

More tomorrow