What's in a name?

Just when you wonder if you're the only one left reading the site, you log in, and find that someone new has decided to add this site to their follow list.

Hi p_cj and welcome to the world of quitting smoking and mobile phones and whatever else comes up. P_cj.....It's an unusual name. I'm going to take a leap here and say it's possibly a shortened version of something and not even a real name. Get me...Like the priest called me T when he christened me and all my mail is addressed to Mr Quittin. Nope my name came out of an unhappy accident when setting up my blogger account and it just stuck. Poet!!! Sure there's a story to that name? Zoe? I think that actually might be Zoe's name you know. Thing is, I can't help it, I like to wonder about these things. Anyhow welcome to the site P (if I may be so informal as to abbreviate your abbreviation).

Another idea I had for finding out about folk was to ask what World cup team they supported. Then It occurred to me that, for many, that just wouldn't work. I'm supporting Spain. I live in the UK but, as anyone will tell you, those of us from the UK that don't live in England don't support England (actually I would quite like to see them do well but, don't say I said so). Poet is in Canada. Canada doesn't have a team and the average Canadian wouldn't, I don't think, support USA.



Or I can just look at my map from google analytics. The green areas represent the continents where my visitors have come from in the last month. The darker the green the more frequent the visits. Problem is that it highlights a whole continent when someone visits. I had one visit from someone in Moscow last month however, flatteringly, the map makes it look like I've cracked the market for the whole of Russia. I like that map. It is a bit misleading though. The darkest shade of green is 107 visitors from the UK. But when it comes to the lighter shades it gets harder to distinguish. Ireland sent 14 visitors while Russia sent 1 yet they look pretty evenly matched on the Map.

It also occurs to me that I'm 128 days off the smoking. What I can tell you at this stage is how it feels. I've had a bit of a summer cold this week which included a chesty cough. God I do not miss the good old days when I coughed like that every morning. I'm scared to say this in case I jinx it but...it's two weeks since I had a proper quitzit. I so hope I've beet those wee bastards. I think the clear weather might be helping my skin. My quiet hope is that once they are gone they won't come back.

It is no longer tough not to smoke. It doesn't gnaw away at my every waking thought. It does still surprise me though that I do miss it. Why? If I could just figure out why I miss it I could finally put to rest any shadow of the smoker I was. I don't miss the cough. I don't actually miss the taste anymore although I did for a long time. I don't miss the smell. (It's not that I ever loved the smell but, for a long time after I quit, the smell of smoke triggered a reaction and made me want to smoke. So many non smokers get the opposite but I was actually drawn to the smell. I'm not offended by it now but it doesn't have any effect on me). Nope it must be the drug itself. There's a certain state of mind, a certain feeling that's almost but not quite there anymore.

Imagine you could only ever have decaffeinated coffee or alcohol free lager . The taste and smell are available but the 'sensation' is gone. Is that what it is? Is that why people smoke? I think the thing is though...When it's gone it's gone. I actually don't think that having a cigarette now would bring it back.

For those of you trying at this moment to quit. Take all the help you can get and quit. The advantages far out weigh the disadvantages. But there will be some of you out there like me who will have to accept that, Thirty years of self harm, doesn't just go away over night.

Until next time.....

T